I have a tendency to seek approval from people. I think most people in ministry have this bent. Most of the time I like getting approval while using my gifts. When my gifts are not used or appreciated I vainly attempt to prove myself. As I was reading 1 Cor. 4:1-6 it hit me. Proving yourself is pointless. If your gifts are not noticed in the first place they will still drift by unnoticed when you prove something with them. In the end our gifts should be used to point people to Christ and bring glory to God. We should not be trying to impress people with our mad skillz. The ultimate satisfaction is receiving recognition from God and I can only do that by submitting to Christ in my day to day endeavors. I need Jesus more than ever to help me overcome this sinful tendency. Think a bit about 1 Corinthians 4:1-6 below or read the passage at YouVersion:
Let a man regard us in this manner, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. In this case, moreover, it is required of stewards that one be found trustworthy. But to me it is a very small thing that I may be examined by you, or by any human court; in fact, I do not even examine myself. For I am conscious of nothing against myself, yet I am not by this acquitted; but the one who examines me is the Lord.
Therefore do not go on passing judgment before the time, but wait until the Lord comes who will both bring to light the things hidden in the darkness and disclose the motives of men’s hearts; and then each man’s praise will come to him from God. Now these things, brethren, I have figuratively applied to myself and Apollos for your sakes, so that in us you may learn not to exceed what is written, so that no one of you will become arrogant in behalf of one against the other.